No Regrets

I've made a lot of changes in my life this year. The first, quitting a wonderful, amazing job I had where I was surrounded by great colleagues and wonderful students. It was a steady job, paid well, and got to do so many things that I'd only dreamed of doing. I look back now and I realize how lucky I was, but not that I am unlucky now.

As a teacher, touching lives is essential for me. As a writer, singer, well, artist, really, it is the same for me. I have found so many answers within myself during this journey and in this beautiful city that I really can only believe that I am where I need to be and I have lived what I needed to live. Every decision I've taken for my well-being has led me to the right path and I know that when I've doubted myself, my inner voice, it's only led to a big mess. Then again, we can always learn from our mistakes, I sure have.

Who would've thought that quitting a wonderful job would lead to something wonderful as well? Do I miss my students? Yes. Do I miss my co-workers? Yes. Do I miss my family and friends? Hell yes. But do I miss myself? No. How can I when I've been discovering and unfolding so many things about myself that I cannot miss the 'old me'. Believe me, I don't say this in an 'egocentric' way at all, but in a very spiritual way. If you cannot learn to understand yourself, or better yet, accept and love yourself, how can you expect to be OK with life? There is a deep indescribable feeling of when you get to know yourself, taking off each and every layer until you stand truly naked before yourself, and breathing in that moment to tell yourself "Hey, you are beautiful. I love you for who you are. We are together in this forever, until death. Who else has been there with you since you came to exist and will be with until you leave this world behind? Me."

Now, I know it may be difficult for some to understand or to imagine what might seem as a form of separation from yourself to look at yourself as almost two people in one body, but aren't we all more than just one person? What I mean is, aren't we all our own mothers or fathers, brothers or sisters, friends or foes, or even lovers? I know that to love another and to be loved in return is an amazing, wondrous adventure if you choose wisely, but I truly believe that finding and loving yourself is also just as beautiful, but I cannot say even more than the previous, since I believe they do not overrule each other.

As I sit and write this, I find myself alone and surrounded by silence. It is dark outside, it is cold. I have no apartment here like I do back home, but I have a bed to sleep on and warmth in the cold of the night. I don't have a car or a bicycle, but I have two good feet and strong legs to carry me. I don't have my piano, my dear, sweet, loving, piano, but I do have music in my soul and in my breath, each and every day. I don't have my books, but I have a thousand stories to tell. What I have is happiness and independence, freedom and friends, music and beautiful words in my head, passion and rest. So how can I say that I regret all I did? Never. I will never regret, never be lonely, never forget.

Video Review: Shadowhunters: Episode 1: The Mortal Cup

Hey guys!

As some of you know, I've been uploading some videos with my impression on books, but also now: TV series! And maybe I'll do movies, too ;) Anyhow, here's my video reviewing the first episode of the new series: "Shadowhunters". It's based on the book I previously reviewed, "The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones" by Cassandra Clare. It's not a copy of the book, there are some differences, but I invite you to check it out and then my video to see if we share some opinions, or not. It's always great to talk. Feel free to like and subscribe!

Book Review: "The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones" by Cassandra Clare

Hey guys!/Hola chicos y chicas!

It's been forever! Please don't kill me :O I've been trying to do a thousand things and they've all be working out fine, but they've taken up a lot of time. Good news are/Han pasado siglos! Por favor no me maten :O He estado trantando de hacer un millon de cosas y todas han resultado bien pero han consumido harto de mi tiempo. Buenas noticias:

• My book's going great! Lots of editing and re-writing, but I not rushing it because I'm really happy with what I've changed :3 

Mi libro van super! Harto re-escribir y editar pero no estoy apurando el proceso porque estoy muy contenta con los cambios que estoy haciendo.

• I'm working online, teaching English, so it's been great to work from home and I've time to keep my house nice, see friends, work on the book, videos, and some 'me' time. 

Estoy trabajando online enseñando Inglés así que ha sido genial trabajar desde mi hogar para mantener mi hogar lindo, ver amigos, trabajar en mi libro, preparar videos y tener tiempo para mi.

• I started reviewing books and series on YouTube! I'm super excited about this and so far I've had really good responses :) I've attached my first review on a book called "The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones" by Cassandra Clare. A series of the book just came out, "Shadowhunters", so I thought it might be interesting to start out with that. It's on Netflix!

Empecé a criticar y analizar libros y series en YouTube! Estoy muy contenta con esto y hasta ahora he tenido muy buenas reaccioens :) Adjunté mi primer video de un libros llamado "Los Caza Sombras: Ciudad de Huesos" de Cassandra Clare. Una serial acaba de salir basada en el libro que se llama "Shadowhunters" así que pensé una buena idea analizar ese libro. Está disponible en Netflix!

• I'm participating in an online book club so I've been reading and analyzing "Jane Eyre" like crazy, but also making vids about it :D 

Estoy participando en un club de lectura online así que he estado leyendo y analizando "Jane Eyre" como loca pero también haciendo videos del libro :D

• All in all.. busy, but happy!

En resúmen, ocupada pero felíz!

Here's my vid! Feel free to like, comment and subscribe ;)

"The Nameless Waltz" by Constanza Mayer

Mr. Thomas: Part 1

This is an original story I'm working on, started yesterday. Hope you like it :) Not fantasy at all, more like 'a fantasy.'

I

It was a rainy day in London. The sweet smell of pavement filled the air and the pitter patter of my boots made me think of a concert, the percussion section. I was making my way towards the usual cafe I always go to sit down and work on my book while having a cup of tea or coffee, but it seemed too far a distance to walk now and I’d forgotten my umbrella. Great idea to wear boots that can stand puddles and rain, but to completely forget your umbrella. But it didn’t really matter because I wouldn’t have found it if I’d remembered. Yes, it: the cafe that would change my life forever.

I’d seen the place before. It was clearly a bit posh and I wouldn’t have dared to go in before, mainly because of my budget, but this time it was different: it was calling out to me and it was the only cafe nearby. I looked up at the beautiful bronze letters that spelt out its name and placed my hand on the doorknob to find myself pushing unnecessarily since someone was already opening the door for me.

“Thank you,” I said feeling rather stupid. Of course, they would have a doorman.

“Good afternoon, Miss,” said the hostess. “Any particular place you’d like to sit?”

I looked around and saw a few empty spaces, mainly small tables with a few chairs here and there, but right across from me, in an almost hidden corner, I saw a large warm-looking armchair, its color almost like rust, and I knew I had to sit there.

“Yeah,” I found myself saying without looking at her, not meaning to be rude. “I’m just gonna sit over there.”

The hostess nodded and I am certain that she would have led the way, hadn’t I done so first. I must have looked like a madwoman now that I remember it, but I truly felt that the armchair was somehow calling me. As I reached it, I placed my hand on its velvety skin, sat my bag down on the armchair next to it, and sat slowly down. It was magic. Right across the armchair was a beautiful garden. It was vast and elegant, not too large, but it was the most inspiring sight I had seen in a long time. The colors of the flowers were soothing, some blue and purple with the bright pollen shining inside them. I was reminded of Van Gogh’s paintings of lilies and so many a flower, and I felt that it was a magical hour, so I decided to stay no matter the cost.

“Would you like to order anything or do you prefer a few moments to have a look at the menu?” I suddenly heard the waitress speaking.

“Oh,” I said a bit startled from my daydreaming. “Tea would be fine. Earl grey, please.”

“I’ll be back shortly,” she replied and left.

As I made my way down the street with my bag over my right shoulder, I breathed in the damp night air. It wasn’t cold at all, after all, it was Spring and I loved it. I would come again, I decided. I would come again and write my heart out as long as it was me, the chair and the garden. Perhaps not every day, but at least once a week would help me to get things really started and, hopefully, finished.

I was completely lost by the view of the garden as if it were speaking to me. ‘Write’ it told me, ‘write me into this world.’ And I did. I grabbed my notebook, flipped it open, didn’t even bother to ask about WiFi since I didn’t need to be online to write and I just poured my soul out. I barely noticed when the tea arrived, forgot to the thank the girl and hoped it wouldn’t all be too costly at the end to give her a decent tip, at least. I wasn’t really writing about the garden, but instead about a magical land that in my mind had existed or could exist elsewhere in another universe. But the armchair and the garden, I felt, were my home and the perfect spot from me to write, no matter the cost.

After a few hours of ordering tea, a bit of lemon pie, an avocado sandwich and going to the bathroom every now and then, I found myself noticing that it was late and that it was already dark. I put my things away, asked for the check, felt slightly mortified by the figure, but I felt it had been worth it. I gave the girl a good tip in exchange for my poor standoffish attitude and left.

by Constanza Mayer

This picture reminds me of the coffee shop I imagined, mainly the colors, but I haven't quite found anything that looks just like what I see in my mind. This is The Ivy Chelsea Garden Cafe in London.

Yay!

Hey all! Re-reading Chapter 4 and loving it! :D Absolutely nothing I wanna change in the plot :3 So happy that my work is taking it's final shape :D I've decided to send my manuscript to a literary agent once it's done (only ones that can be 'trusted' of course) and see if traditional publishing is an option for me :3 BUT I would insist that I at least get to keep my illustrator or no deal :P Thanks for your time and support. Please check out my first 3 Chapters running for a Fantasy writing contest and vote for me if you like it :D Hugs!

Hola a todos! Re-leyendo el Capítulo 4 y amándolo! :D No hay absolutamente nada que quiera cambiar de el :3 Estoy muy feliz que mi trabajo esté tomando su forma final :D He decidido mandar mi manuscrito a un agente literario (sólo los 'comprobados y confiables') para ver si publicación tradicional es una opción para mi :3 PERO insistiría en por lo menos poder quedarme con mi ilustrador :P Gracias por su tiempo y apoyo. Por favor visiten el link y voten por mis tres capítulos del mi libro que ingresé para un concurse de literatura de Fantasía, espero que les guste :D Abrazos!

http://www.inkitt.com/stories/18896

Editing is Not Free :/

Hi again,

Since my book is going to editing over and over again till it's final version, it's going to cost me a lot of money. So I made this campaign just in case anyone would like to help. There 'prizes' for donations as well like being turned into a character, getting a free signed copy, etc :) Check it out :D

My Campaign/Donation Page

Hola otra vez,

Como mi libro va a pasar por revisión y edición una y otra vez hasta llegar a su versión final, va a costarme harto dinero. Por lo que decidí hacer una campaña donde me pueden ayudar. Simplemente con compartilo, me estás ayudando. Hay premios como ser transformado en un personaje del libro, o un libro gratis y firmado, etc. Mírenlo :D